Feedback of First Draft of Film - Kim Bradbury

Will:
- Build up the tension of the intruder from the start
-Start everything as normal, but give an idea that she could be in danger
-Add opening titles


Kim Bates:
- Do not reveal the intrudor
-Close up shot of her closing the door but pulling away and not locking it
-Let the dog out (so he can go missing)
-Maybe she looks for something in the house but its been moved so someone is present or could have been
-Show a worried expression on the actors face


Tom:
-Make it longer
-Get a shot of the house


Janice:
-Nice shot of the father whilst he is leaving and of the daughter walking in
-Make more shots which will attract the audience's attention


Louis:
-The idea is good and a really good background story
-Need to see less of the stalker
-Good use of match on action


Martin:
-Good shots of the house and outside with the car
-But there is no suspence


Dasha:
-When Charlotte comes in the house she doesn't have many things with her so maybe she should have a bag so it looks like she has come from somewhere


Freddie:
-More tension (see the stalker poassing a window or in the background)
-Approach the daughter slower


Stan:
-Make changes to bring attention and so the audience will be more attracted to watch the rest of the film.
-Have the music very jumpy
-Have the daughter have a reaction to the stalker
-Have the dog running out of the house.




Possible Film Titles
-The Entrance
-The Intrudor
-No Job Vancany
-Revenge is Sweet
-Not Alone
-The Aftermath
-Prime Target
-A Business World
-One Way or Another